They say entrepreneurs create something out of nothing. An entrepreneur has an idea and he startups up a venture. Somewhere early on, he realizes that he needs sufficient capital to carry through with his idea. Enter the VC and the rest of the risk capital community.

After having spent the last couple of months in endless pursuit of the ever elusive risk capitalist I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that only a divine intervention of the kind that Moses had when he was given the Ten Commandments can save me. As entrepreneur’s we tend to believe that our idea is solid, that our business plan is based on clear objectives and that our revenue & growth plans are rock solid.

VC’s don’t necessarily think so. Which led me to thinking. What if God had been an entrepreneur? After all he did start up this world i
n six days flat! And what if God had to meet seek risk capital for his ‘whole new world’ kinda project?

Here’s how it might have turned out had VC’s existed back many billion years ago.

Meeting with VC No 1:

VC 1: So why don’t you tell me more about why you think you’re best suited for this venture?

God: Well it’s like this. I’ve sort of created a singularity based on an algo that self learns over time and is ever expanding. The algo sort of creates things out of emptiness. At the point of singularity, time as we know it will cease to exist, matter as we know it will cease to exist. The physical constant of the singularity will be at the point of inflection that drives the algorithm to work and set new rules. I am now looking to create a new world out of simple gases by creating a chemical combustion engine that will spark new forms throughout the universe.

VC 1: Huh?

Meeting with VC No 2.

VC2: So why don’t you tell me what is this thing that you’ve created?

God: It’s a complex patented algorithm that I own which expands with time and is self-learning.

VC2: That’s sounds fantastic! So how big is the market for this thing?

God: Pretty big, you can say the entire universe could be populated with this and that’s a pretty big number. Lots of zero’s in it. Hahaha.

VC 2: Uh.Uh. You know, that’s a pretty big vision plan that you have here. But I think you’ll need a heck of a lot of capital to get where you want to go. You might want to think more local, tweak around the plan as you go, pivot it. After all you never know how the market might react! I think you should be looking at possibly an angel investor or two to fund you at this stage. Get it off the ground, show some traction and then come talk to us when you’re ready for a Series A.

Meeting with 3rd VC

VC 3: So why don’t you tell me why you think you’re best suited to run this venture?

God: It’s a complex patented algorithm that I own which expands with time and is self-learning.

VC1: That’s sounds fantastic! So how big is the market for this thing?

God: It’s pretty big but that’s down the line. Right now am looking at raising funds to bring this product into the market on a local scale. You know, sort of tweak it, learn from it, and get some traction off the ground

VC3: Great! Do you have a management team in place?

God: Well not exactly, I am the founder. I have a fairly decent team of angelic assistants who help me run this thing.

VC3: Hmmm…You know God, I think you have a great idea. Yes, there are definitely possibilities in what you’re trying to do. But my sense is that you’re probably going to need more hands on co-founders with you to get this thing off the ground. Mind you, it’s not that we think you’re not capable enough, but all startups need people with different skill sets. You can’t be doing it all. You need to have someone with the same passion as you have. Why don’t you keep me updated on this thing and we’ll see how it goes.

Meeting with 4th VC

VC 4: So why don’t you tell me why you think you’re best suited to run this venture?

God: It’s a complex patented algorithm that I own which expands with time and is self-learning.

VC4: That’s sounds fantastic! So how big is the market for this thing?

God: It’s pretty big but that’s down the line. Right now am looking at raising funds to bring this product into the market on a local scale. You know, sort of tweak it, learn from it, and get some traction off the ground

VC4: Great! Do you have a management team in place?

God: I’m the CEO and founder & I have recently taken on Gabriel on an ESOP plan. Between me and Gabriel we have this thing pretty much sewed up. He’s as excited as I am with the idea of creating a new world.

Vc4: Fantastic. You must get me to meet Gabriel one of these days. So how’s the competition in this field of ‘new world creation’ that you’re trying to do?

God: We have a significant first mover advantage on this. There is no competition at present. So we need to move fast in this.

VC4: Hmmm.No competition? That’s strange. How come nobody else thought of this idea before you guys?

God: I wouldn’t know why nobody else thought of it.

VC4: Look, I’m going to be straight with you guys. I think you have a brilliant idea but honestly speaking am not sure if you guys have done enough research on this thing. Have you tried Googling for ‘Life in the Universe?”

Meeting with 5th VC

VC5: Do you have a management team in place?

God: I’m the CEO and founder & I have recently taken on Gabriel on an ESOP plan. Between me and Gabriel we have this thing pretty much sewed up. He’s as excited as I am with the idea of creating a new world.

Vc5: Fantastic. You must get me to meet Gabriel one of these days. So how’s the competition in this field of ‘new world creation’ that you’re trying to do?

God: Well our biggest competitor is this firm called De-Vil. Currently he holds the status quo and he abhors life in general. We believe he will be our biggest threat.

VC5: And how are you guys different? What’s your differentiation from De-Vil?

God: Well De-Vil tries to destroy and we try and create things. That’s our differentiation.

VC5: Sounds good to me so far. Tell me more about this new product you’re creating. What did you call it? Earth? What does it do?

God: It sustains life forms.

VC5: And these life forms are also patented using your algorithms?

God: Yes it is.

VC5: Can you briefly tell me what you’re going to create?

God: Well, first things first we’re going to create light through burning of hydrogen gas. It will give off enough energy to sustain life. Gabriel has run up some interesting chemical compositions in his lab and we have created a compound that is part methane, ammonia and water vapor. Gabriel believes that the energy from the hydrogen fuels that we are going to burn will react with this chemical compound and in the process life will emerge.

VC5: Oh. So you haven’t tested this thing as yet?

God: Not exactly, we have run several lab tests and the results came out positive.

VC5: Hmmm. Interesting concept there you have. But my guess you’re reaching out to the VC community at too early a stage. Why don’t you come back when you have a prototype of this life form?

Meeting with 10th VC- a few billion years later.

VC10: So you’re created a prototype life form?

God: Yes Sir we have. We had to bootstrap to do it and we’re a billion years late to launch now.

VC10: Hahaha. Good joke. So what do you call this? This thing?

God: Well, it’s just a molecular structure at present, but the important thing is that it got created by itself.

VC10: You’re still too early my friend. Why don’t you come back when you have a working prototype?

3.8 Billion years ago. Meeting with the 20th VC

VC20: What’s that thing?

God: Well, we have named it Prokaryotic cell. It’s a single cell organism. It survives on water and feeds for itself. It will replicate and create many more of its kind and they in turn will create more evolutionary organisms based on the algo that I have created. Ultimately they will become twin celled and then multi celled organism and in time they will move out of the water into land.

VC10: Interesting. Definitely there are possibilities. But tell me, why did you leave so much water all around when ultimately they will move out of water? Can you like pivot a bit on your plan and reverse the land-water ratio? Our analyst tells us that in the end at your current projected rate of evolution, you’re going to run out of land mass.

God: No. that’s not possible with this product.

VC10: Hmm. Let me get back to you on this one. I’ll run the numbers in once more internally.

1300 Million years ago- Meeting with the 42nd VC

VC 42: So what’s this thing called again?

God: Land fungi. It’s the start of our version 10 product line which has been under R&D now for a billion years plus.

VC42: what’s this product line going to achieve?

God: It will help create green plant cover that will change the atmosphere on the test world called Earth.

VC42: Why are you introducing multiple product lines? I notice that in slide 17, you’re projecting to have around a million different plant lines?

God: You need a million different plant lines to create a perfect balance on the test world. Each line addresses one singular aspect in the environment.

VC42: Sounds like a gargantum waste. Instead of going horizontal, you should be thinking vertical. Specialization is the future. Gone are the days when anyone could be everything to everyone. You need to think specialization and niche markets. I’m sorry, our focus is to look at niche markets

700 Million years ago- Meeting with the 60th VC

VC 60: What’s this?

God: It’s our version 6.0 prototype sir. We call it a mammal. It reproduces through a process called mating. We believe that it will considerably slow down the reproduction process on land

VC60: This is a prototype right? When are you getting that bi-pedal creature off the lab? Now that’s a prototype I would like to see!

2.5 Million years ago- Meeting with the 90th VC

VC90: So you guys finally did it! You got the final product off the shelf? Congrats! How’s been the entrepreneurial journey so far?

God: Tiring. We haven’t slept for 6 days at a stretch

VC90: Ha-ha…You guys are going to sleep even less when you launch. How ready are you with the beta version?

God: The beta version is ready. And I would say that give or take a few million years we would be ready with the final version.

VC90: Fantastic. I see your business plan envisages investing some hyper zillion dollars in replicating this model into other areas around the Universe?

God: Yes sir.

VC90: Good. Good…what’s the exit plan?

God: Exit?

Today- The last meeting with the 100th VC

VC100: I hear you guys have been at this thing for some several billion years now?

God: 4.54 Billion years. Yes. We have met all the VC’s that were there.

VC100: I understand. We are not entrepreneurs. We invest money where we see a return. We don’t understand your business. Hahaha…we would make lousy entrepreneurs

God: Yes, I noticed that these last 4.5 Billion years.

VC 100: I notice that you’ve solved the exit issue as well?

God: Yes. All it took was a little tweak in the original algorithm. Things will go back to the way they were into the singularity of a point a zillion billion million years from now on. All on a self-learning mode. You will definitely have a good exit.

VC100: Fantastic. Now I have some good news for you guys. Our analysts concur that we should look at possibly investing in this venture so to speak. Not the whole hog but in a smallish way. Maybe launch the homo being in another world. See how that world reacts. If it does well, we’ll help you guys raise a 2 round and then a 3 round and we’ll be with you right through till the last. When you tie in with us as your investors, you will get sound advice and above all practical insights. Think of us as your conscience.

VC100: So what do you say? Shall we look at the term sheet?

God: I think I’ll go rest. It’s been a heavy 6 days.

And on the 7 day, God rested.

About the author: Rajesh is the CEO & Founder of Agencyonnet, a technology enabled platform that helps businesses significantly reduce their advertising & marketing costs.. Another whole new world concept :). He is also the Managing Director of Impact Marketing, a marketing services agency. He is contactable on LInkedIn and Twitter @aon_menon

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