A friend of mine recently pulled back out of relationship he was trying to get into, finally giving up the ghost when he realized that the woman he was in love with had little time for him. Of course, there was this one small fact that escaped his attention which was that the woman he loved did not love him.
She was in fact in a relationship where the man she loved had little time for her
So here was a rather piquant situation…the classic love triangle of a man loving a woman who loved someone else and both of them hurting in their respective relationship for lack of “me too time”
Time. The one thing we tend to invest the least in any relationship.
We tend to hoard it and use it up in all kinds of activities thinking that it would make our partners happier.
We work longer hours hoping to get that next promotion that would give us that next pay hike. We work harder to buy the next foreign holiday. We skip birthday parties, anniversaries, and other get together thinking that a sacrifice today would give us the happiness at the end of the rainbow
But, what we get are lost, failed and broken relationships.
Time. It’s the only thing we truly have to give to the ones who care for us.
But yet we make excuses, rationale ones to prevent us from feeling guilty. “I have to work late”, “I have to go to my mom’s place.” “I have to do this or that”… The list goes on. Rationale reasons, for not finding adequate time to spend with the ones that truly matter in one’s life.
We have all been guilty of this. And we rarely put ourselves in the other person’s shoes when we do it.
Time. It is the most precious gift you can give in any relationship because it’s one thing you can never get back.
Most relationship actually do not need much ” me too” time. A 10 minute up close and personal talk can be more satisfying than hours spent aimlessly.
Spending time with those one cares gives us experiences, memories and above all gives us that happy glow that we carry around with us.
Memories are what makes life beautiful. That stolen kiss, that warm hug when you are feeling especially low or that time just spent lazing in front of the TV. Memories are what make us look back at the time we have spent and ask ourselves “was I happy doing that?”
If the answer is yes, you know you spent your time well enough.
Which brings me back to the question that people often confide in me “why doesn’t he or she spend time with me?”
There could be only two answers to this quintessential question
One, the person doesn’t want to spend time with you or two, the person has no idea of what is more important to you.
For the former, there is only one logical solution- forget the relationship. It is a dead end and staying in it will only lead to further heartbreak. For the latter, the situation can be smoothened out by simply discussing the same with your partner.
All you need for doing that is Time.